


Lost Doll

by wth_am_i_writing



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Voodoo Doll Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-13 09:17:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16889808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wth_am_i_writing/pseuds/wth_am_i_writing
Summary: He couldn’t tell if the reason the snow didn’t feel cold was because he was doll or because she left him behind.





	Lost Doll

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on Tumblr on December 13, 2013.
> 
> Original Author’s Note: Requested by an Anon. Hope you like it Anon! I wrote it to celebrate finishing my exams because I knew it’d be a quick write. Probably not as sad as I could have made it, but i think it turned out appropriately sad. I loooove writing angst, so I was really excited when I saw the request.

The air was chilly—no chilly wasn’t the right adjective—the air was freezing. But Hongbin was too shocked to really compute the real temperature of the air and just felt like it was chilly. But it didn’t snow when it was chilly, nor could you see your breath clear as cigarette smoke when it was _just_ chilly. Maybe it was because his heart felt numb, and everything else seemed to go numb with it. He stared blankly ahead, not sure what he should do or even the exact emotion he was feeling. All he knew was that he’d been abandoned, and the scenes from a few days ago kept replaying in his mind.

Master had barked that he get in the car. So he did, not seeing it as anything to be overly concerned about. But Master had been listless. The only thing that had flitted across his mind at the moment was that she’d managed to find the one she was looking for, that she was taking him along to exact her revenge. They drove and drove and drove, and when the sunset, they stopped at a hotel. She didn’t talk much, she never did. When he asked where they were going, tried to calm her down, she knocked him away and commanded him to sleep. So he’d slept. And when he woke up, he was alone, his doll tucked in his arms.

Confused, he had waited—maybe she’d gone out. But she didn’t come back  even two hours later. So he looked for her—but the car was gone and no matter how long he waited at the hotel she never came back. So he walked. He walked and walked until he ended up in the city. She wouldn’t be looking for him. He didn’t know exactly what to make of it, but she’d left him with his doll and he could only take that to mean that he was abandoned.

So there Hongbin sat, on a sidewalk, back pressed against a brick wall, cradling his doll in his lap. Snow was starting to build up on his head, shoulders and outstretched legs. How long had he sat there, motionless like the doll he was cursed into becoming? Hundreds of people must have been passing him by, but none of them were his master. The realization hit him hard and fast. A hard sob caught in his throat as tears began to well in his eyes. Shifting his hands the slightest bit, he squeezed his doll. The action mimicked the feel of a tight hug around his chest and waist.

Master had been everything to him.

Master was his world.

Master was what he lived for.

But Master had left him behind. She didn’t want him anymore. No expression of his love was enough for her to keep him at her side.

The first tear fell. Then the second. He closed his eyes and from there the tears flowed. The tear tracks began to crystallize and the tearstains on his on his sweater slowly became stiff, the weather cold enough to freeze even tears.

“Are you ok?” a voice hesitantly called out. Hongbin didn’t reply, barely even processing it. A hand shook his shoulder. “Mister, are you ok?”

Snapping his eyes open, he connected with the passerby’s concerned gaze. The man jumped, startled by Hongbin’s X shaped irises.

“T-those are some n-nice c-contacts you have,” the man said, trying to cover his surprise. Hongbin just stared at him. He was the first person to approach him since he entered the city. “You’ve been here for a while, not moving. I was afraid you’d died out here. You really should come inside. You can sit in my shop.”

Hongbin just stared forward, gripping his doll even tighter. Dead. That was what he felt like inside, he finally realized. But he wasn’t dead, nor could he die. He was just a doll.

“It’s really dangerous to stay out here, you _really_ should come inside,” the man pressed, grabbing Hongbin’s arm and tugging him up. The snow that had accumulated on his body fell to the ground. “Come on, gotta get you warmed up.” The man pulled Hongbin down the street and led him into a bookstore. He guided Hongbin to a chair and sat him down, calling to an employee to fetch something hot to drink.

“Why… are you doing this?” Hongbin finally spoke, thoroughly confused by the man’s actions. Wasn’t he just a worthless doll that was tossed to the side? Garbage that should be kicked out of the way and forgotten? The man looked him in the eye, expression just as confused as Hongbin felt.

“I can’t just let a guy die outside my store on Christmas Eve,” he explained. Christmas Eve? “You should stay here until you warm up. Do you have a place to go tonight? Just stay here until morning if you don’t—Ah! I didn’t introduce myself before. I’m Hakyeon. And you?”

Hongbin sat for a few moments trying to validate his existence as a person, but couldn’t bring himself to it. He opened his mouth and with every bit of certainty replied, “I’m just a lost doll that a girl left behind.”


End file.
